


I would rocket into the sky and become a shooting star for you if it meant I could make your wishes come true

by tomlinblows



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Harry and Louis - Freeform, M/M, Science, Stars, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne - Freeform, comets, harry styles/louis tomlinson - Freeform, larry fluff, larry stylinson - Freeform, little ziam, lots of space, more of a long poem than a story, planetarium - Freeform, pretty deep at some parts, really proud of this tbh, takes place in LA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-01-27
Packaged: 2018-01-10 05:12:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1155506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomlinblows/pseuds/tomlinblows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boy saw the comet and he felt as though his life had meaning. And when it went away, he waited his entire life for it<br/>to come back to him. It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty, meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again... And his belief in God and love and art would be re-awakened in his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I would rocket into the sky and become a shooting star for you if it meant I could make your wishes come true

**Author's Note:**

> okay, so this took me like 3 months to write and im super proud of it. its based of my favourite quote and im super into astronomy too, so im just like wow i should write this up into some larry fic and so thats how this creation was born and i hope you love it as much as me and comments are always appreciated :) when reading this i recommend listening to the scientist by coldplay or atlas by coldplay because it really sets the mood

Harry remembers being small and told that he could be anything. _Can I be everything_ , he replied. The teachers would laugh at him like he was silly- just another pair of bright eyes and delusions. And of course he was. But he always sort of pitied every teacher who worked at his small Christian school. He felt bad for them. To Harry, they were the unimportant ones; the ones to laugh at. Same old routine day after day after day. That was no way to live, and he was supposed to look to them as role models? Anne was his role model, he believed, along with Neil Armstrong and the funny dog in the weekly comics. 

 

Harry knew he was unlike other kids his age very early in life. He didn’t fit in the world quite like them; he always wanted to fit in beyond it. What was the world, anyway? Everybody knows the scientific definition, but what was this lifestyle we had created inside of it? What were humans, besides somewhere between a miracle and a mistake, and why was it so troubling to simply _be_ one? _Why was he even thinking these thinks at ten years old?_

 

It was an angsty three minutes until the comet was supposed to speed by Earth. His noodle legs wobbled him out onto the back porch, perching himself on the footstool and peeking through his brand new telescope. 

 

"Mum! You almost made me late!" Harry whined as Anne walked out behind him, covering herself with an old quilt and patting a hand onto her boys head. 

 

"I'm sorry Harry, won't happen again." She scoffed, laughing sweetly and plopping onto the backyard couch. She admired Harry's endless love for space and stars and comets and the universes that only seem apparent to us when we look up. Harry always looked beyond that, though, past the clouds and the few speckled stars here and there. He knew there was more to it than just twinkling lights and tales of ancient mythology. There had to be something truly special.

 

"Of course it won't, we won't even be alive the next time this comet passes Earth, Mum. Well, comets can actually be seen for days, but tonight is supposed to be the brightest. " Harry grinned matter-of-factly. Anne laughed, throwing her hands up in surrender when Harry glanced at his beeping wristwatch. 

 

"It's time! It's time!" Anne watched her son jump up and down like a puppy in a shop window, shaking her head and watching Harry fix his lenses and stanza so it's perfect for the view of the comet. "Any minute now."

 

"Do you make a wish or something?" Anne inquired, fiddling with the corner of the blanket before hugging it back up to her chest, securely. 

 

"You can make a wish on anything, Mum. But yeah, I am going to wish on it. I might as well." 

 

Suddenly a dim circle lit up from the other side of the telescope, causing young Harry to squeal and shove his eyes up to the lens. His jaw dropped in genuine awe; a comet! A real comet falling right before his eyes. He focused on it for minutes, mumbling to himself, until he remembered he had to wish. 

 

_I wish..._

 

He squeezed his eyes tight in thought for a moment before peeling them back open, a smile lighting up his entire face. 

 

_I wish for the comet to come back to me again. I wish for a comet of my own, one I can talk about Snoopy- yeah, that's his name- with, and I can learn all about it's home. I wish-_

 

"It's beautiful Harry," Anne commented, placing a gentle hand on his small shoulder as she took a turn peeking through the scope. "Ready for bed now, love? The comet isn't going anywhere, like you said." 

 

Harry looked at it through the magnifier for a few more seconds before nodding and stepping down from his stool, letting his mum lead him back inside. 

 

Harry marched up the stairs to go get his teeth brushed, growing teary eyed because the comet  _was_  going to go somewhere, and Harry wasn't going with it. He was going to brush his teeth like his Mum asked, get into his bed like he always does, and get up the next morning for school. 

 

Harry never wished to be 19 and stuck in LA living with his mysterious room-mate and small apartment which wreaked of weed and sex. Harry had wished for more than this. He felt tired, and weak, and bored and most of all just lost in the universe he had studied and become so familiar with. Sometimes he thought about that one night, and he frowned. 

 

_ 

 

"...Yet on a clear, dark night, Earth's sky reveals only about 3,000 stars to the naked eye. Humans of many cultures have charted the heavens by these stars!" Harry grimaced at the much obvious information the short, perky employee was sharing with the Indian family who had two small children that really couldn't give a rat's ass about the stars. 

 

"Tell me something I don't know," Harry grumbled, breathing out a huff of bitter laughter. He shoved his large hands into the high pockets of his jacket, his elbows poking out and he swayed them, glancing at the little plaques of information. The worker waited until the family wandered away before strutting up to Harry, who avoided all eye contact, pretending to be focused on the simple bullets of facts imprinted on the metal plates. 

 

"If you claim to know so much, pretty boy, why are you studying that plaque so hard, hm?" Harry placed his eyes on the pictures above for a second before wavering them over to the boy, who strangely resembled Peter Pan in his green collared shirt and tight black pants with cuffs at the bottom, overlapping his muddy white vans. 

 

"It amuses me that you feed this shit to people; spitting out well known, useless, basic facts about how you can see the stars at night-time." Harry said, bringing their eyes to a locked contact. "It's quite ridiculous, if you ask me." 

 

"Well I'm not asking you," He fired back, crossing his arms. HIs name-tag read **Louis :)**.

 

"You should pal, you'd learn a lot more." Harry retorted like a smart-ass, which really seemed to bring out Louis' fire ball attitude. 

 

"Teach me then, _Sir Know It All_." 

 

Harry tilted his head sideways at Louis, who was leaning back against the display, his arms crossed under his armpits. He had a cocky look on his face. Harry straightened his posture. 

 

"Stars are cosmic energy engines that produce heat, light, ultraviolet rays, x-rays, and other forms of radiation. They are composed largely of gas and plasma, a superheated state of matter composed of subatomic particles."

 

"Intelligent, but no kid can understand half of that sentence. You sound like a textbook, and from personal experience, children usually tend to tune those out." Louis smiled, squeaking out a little laugh which made Harry bend his eyebrows in surprise. Harry took a few long strides ahead, and Louis mindlessly trailed behind. They made casual conversation for a minute until Louis checked his phone for the time.

 

"So there's a planetarium show in a few minutes, fancy a go? I'm required to narrate the show, but I can save you a good seat if you'd like. If you would open up that closed mind of yours, maybe you might learn something new from somebody else." Louis pushed himself off the counter he was leaned against and dug out a neon wristband from his pocket, handing it to Harry. 

 

"Sure. I'd love to act like I'm learning things I've studied since I was ten, for an hour. Meet you there, Louis." 

 

Louis jogged off with a smug little grin that Harry pretended not to notice, and pretended even harder to hide his own as he made his way down to the planetarium. 

 

_

 

"Stars evolve over billions of years! When their main sequence phase ends they pass through other states of existence according to their size and other characteristics. The larger a star's mass, the shorter its lifespan will be." Harry had zoned out Louis' information and decided to focus more on the beautiful observatory and the representation of the stars that scattered across the building roof, twinkling in Louis' eyes and wait- Louis' eyes did that before, too. Didn't they?  _No Harry,_  he thought to himself.  _The stars, the stars._

 

The presentation came to a steady end before Harry could snap back to reality, and Louis sprinted up to him before he could even stand from his seat. 

 

"So what'd you learn...?" Louis chirped, grinning from ear to ear. "I still haven't gotten your name."

 

"That the Griffith Observatory is really spectacular looking," Harry said, stretching his lanky arms behind his head. "And it's Harry." 

 

"Harry." Louis repeated, as if he was tasting it in his tongue, rolling it around and deciding if he liked it or not. He did. "Teach me something else, Harry- since it's obviously impossible to get you to learn anything from me." 

 

Harry thought for a moment, then displayed a long smile which reached his dazzling eyes, igniting little crinkles that Louis would much rather study than the night sky.

 

"The reason some stars stand out from the rest is because their brightness is a factor of how much energy they put out, which is called their luminosity, and also how far away from Earth they are." 

 

Louis just sat, fluttering his eye lashes up at the rotating ceiling and smiling softly to himself, quite content with the mysterious smart ass sitting next to him. 

 

"I guess you have a point," Louis said.

 

Louis leaned his head towards Harry, who had his eyes shut and a sly little smirk on his pink lips, feeling Louis with the smiley faced name-tag looking at him fondly, and for a moment, it seemed like the stars faded away; each and every one. It was just Louis, who seemed to shine the brightest out of all. 

 

_

 

"Back again? I have a feeling you're trying to steal my job or something." 

 

The familiar scent of the building mixed in with the mid-morning California breeze gradually swallowed Harry up as he walked through the front glass doors. It seemed to be just him and Louis and a few other workers, no others yet. Harry secretly hid the small smile tugging at each end of his lips.

 

"Nah, I mean- we both know I can do it way better, but stealing isn't my strong suit. I'm more of a  _seducing your way into it kind of guy_." 

 

Louis laughed loud and whole-heartedly, and Harry felt his chest get a little tight. Louis' laugh was pretty amazing. 

 

Harry took a few steps around the place, taking it all in. He studied the ceiling and all the Greek mythology tales painted within, and the big ceramic Earth that sat in the middle of the floor. It was all so interesting, all so  _Harry_. He was all black holes and eclipses and asteroids and galaxies, while Louis was a tidal wave of electricity and knowledge and wit and everything good. His heart must be so big for someone so small, Harry wondered how heavy it was to carry. 

 

"So I've noticed you're from England too, there's a few other Brits down here in LA. They're all models and shit, so I don’t know any of them. Wait a minute- are you a model?" 

 

Harry coughed out a laugh and tossed a hand through his hair. 

 

"No fucking way," Harry said through a loose smile. "Never." 

 

"So then why California, if I may ask?" Louis was starting up some of the interactive machines and flipping on the lights and Harry followed him from room to room, hall to hall. Harry wouldn't mind working here. 

 

"When I was 18 I moved here with my best mate at the time, Zayn, and we got a small temporary apartment here and I guess I sorta got stuck. I like the beaches and the scenery, and the people can be pretty interesting. It's nice here; I've come to appreciate it." Harry explained. " 'Could ask you the same thing."

 

"I got accepted into UCLA two falls ago. I went for a bit, but college wasn't for me. So I took my side love of space and planets and applied here and the rest is rock and roll history." They laughed together and Harry decided he really liked Louis and his humbling vibes. 

 

"You really love it here," Harry commented while fiddling with the damn plaques again. 

 

"It has it's up's and down's." All the lights clicked on and Harry trailed behind Louis like a baby duckling as he flipped with the switches. They made their way back to the front entrance.

 

"What are the down's?" asked Harry. He heard a car pull up in the lot, but didn't take much note of it. A tourist family piled out and slowly headed for the doors.

 

"Well," Louis clapped his hands and smiled when all the lights were set and they were ready for opening. "Just about everything before you walked in."

 

_

 

A fresh layer of smoke leaked from Zayn's room and the music was blasting as usual. Harry was sure he was passed out already, and he dug around in his bathroom before pulling out the box of surgical masks Niall had brought over one day. He never thought'd he'd need them, but with Zayn, Harry never got a chance to think. Everything was spontaneous. 

 

"Zayn!" Harry yelled through the cotton, not wanting to second-hand himself high. "Get up, you're cooking tonight." 

 

Harry made his way through the muggy room and found Zayn on his bed, sleeping as usual with paint smeared across his jaw. He looked peaceful, and he god damn should be, with all this marijuana floating around. 

  
"What?" Zayn murmured, lifting his head up and flopping onto his back, sprawling himself out and breathing in the air, a soft grin sitting on his lips. 

 

"I said it's your night to make dinner." Harry repeated, heading back towards the door. "I'm throwing out all your pot later, I'm sick of you offing yourself with it." 

 

"You throw it out, I throw you out the fuckin' window!" Zayn laughed, making Harry pop a smile and shake his head. 

 

"Just go make some fucking food." 

 

He watched Zayn stumble into the kitchen before Harry shut his bedroom door, reclining back against his soft bed and sighing. Like Zayn's room, everything was cloudy in his head. There were just fragments of chewed off thoughts left. He looked over at his table clock. It was still only three quarters passed seven. If Zayn hurried and Harry made it to the hills in time, he could catch the stars at their brightest time. He needed to see them. He needed to see something beautiful to clear his head, and Louis was off work tomorrow, so he couldn’t see him.

 

Zayn had just started on dinner, but Harry flew out the door past it, not bothering to muster up a sandwich or something quick. He didn’t have much of an appetite for food anymore, especially Zayn’s horrendous cooking. 

 

“Slow down, Flash, you’ll hurt yourself,” Zayn grinned, corners of his tongue poking out behind his teeth. “Where are you going?”

 

“To the hills.”

 

“Well do you want me to make something else or-”

 

“No thanks mate, don’t wait up!” 

 

Zayn decided he wouldn’t. Harry was down the lift and seated in the car quicker than he’s ever moved in his life. The colours of the sky were fading before he could blink and luckily, the traffic was mild. He anxiously tapped his lanky fingers on the wheel in anticipation, humming to himself, and cursing at a terrible driver every once in a while. The ride up the famous hills were mostly calm too; it was strange. He’d never seen them so vacant. 

 

“Just in time,” Harry chuckled to himself, clicking his seatbelt and locking the car doors. He trotted up to the small gate that separated him from the city of dreams and the steep fall of his death. It was eight thirty now, and the only trace of sunset left in the sky was just masking the border; ready to fall off the sharp edge of the Earth. He stood straight, letting the sounds and sights of nature fill all his senses, keeping him in a peaceful state. Just him and the sky, as always.

 

“ _Harry?_ Fancy meeting you here!” A smiley voice piped up behind him. He shot his eyes open and turned slightly, not taking his hands of the railing. 

 

“Louis? What are you doing here- now?” 

 

“Same thing as you I bet,” he snorted. “I wanted to see the stars; NASA app said it would be an outstanding view tonight. We both must have their notifications on.” 

 

Harry didn’t say anything back. He turned himself back to the view and wished the stars would come out already. He knows he shouldn’t push it, because things always take longer when you wait for them, but he couldn’t help it. How was Louis here, of all nights at all times, next to him? Harry laughed at himself in his head and rolled his eyes. _Fate. Ha, what a load of bull-_

 

“So you’re stalking me now?” Louis smirked, jumping on his tiptoes to see all the way down the hill. 

 

“Stalking you? I was here first!” Harry shot back, playfully of course. Louis’ eyes looked grey tonight. 

 

“That’s kind of how stalkers work, Harold.” They laughed together. “Always one step ahead. Well if you’re going to continue to follow me, we might as well make it fun.” 

 

“First of all, I’m not following you; I really had no expectations of you showing up here. Secondly, what do you propose?” 

 

“A friendship.” Louis said softly, not wanting the commitment offer to scare Harry away. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

 

“I thought we already had that part down.” 

 

“You thought stupid, then! I barely know anything about you besides the fact that you know too much about our galaxy and you’ve got a shitty living arrangement. There’s usually a lot more to a friendship.” 

 

“Well let’s be unusual then,” Harry beamed. Louis made a funny noise and managed to sigh in a sarcastic tone. _Only Louis._

 

“Just tell me something about yourself not many people know.”

 

“My favourite animal is a giraffe.” Harry admitted with a serious face. 

 

“I meant something a little deeper. Here, I’ll start- I’m deathly afraid of pigeons. There's so many of them it's overwhelming. They're going to overthrow us.” 

 

Harry laughed loudly and covered a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. 

 

“That’s pretty deep Lou,” Harry said, fondly. 

 

“I know I know, but I’m good, mate. I’m strong. You have a go now, tell me your deepest and darkest.” 

 

“I don’t- my favourite colour’s black.” Harry shrugged, talking with his hands like he did when he was nervous. 

 

“That is shit, Harry.” 

 

“How’s it shit?” Harry shot back in defense, failing to hide his smile, making all seriousness melt right off his face. Louis chuckled. 

 

“Black isn’t even a colour; it’s a lack of colour. Seriously, tell me a secret. _Everybody_ has a secret.” 

 

Well in case Louis hadn't noticed, Harry wasn't everybody. He was barely a somebody. Harry thought of telling Louis about his comet. He never really told anybody but his mum, not even his sister or Zayn or his childhood stuffed bear. 

 

“Well there is one,” Harry began. "But I've barely told a soul.”

 

“Right then, I sold my soul a long time ago for a few chips and a drink, so your beloved secret really is safe with me.” 

 

Harry was about to stand his ground, but looking into Louis’ tender eyes and chiseled smile, he spilled like milk. 

 

“When I was um, little and stuff, I started to get into all this space shit and one night I waited all night to see this comet, that only comes once in like a couple hundred years. I made this wish on it, which I can’t say or else it won’t come true, but it hasn’t already so I don’t think it ever will. Anyways though, I don’t know. The comet’s special to me, like, it gave my life meaning, in a way. I think it’ll come back to me one day, maybe not in the form of a comet, but in some way...it’ll find me again.” 

 

He hadn’t realized his voice was tight until his body relaxed when he stopped speaking. He cleared his throat before Louis could notice. 

 

“Oh, Harry, that’s beautiful. I’m sure it’ll come back to you. Like they say, if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, then it never was.” Louis smiled, gently. 

 

Harry looked up at the stars now, and boy, were they out and shining away. _Shit,_  were they extraordinary. 

 

“I wish I was a star, so I could be up there with all those brothers and sisters. Having people confide in you and being able to help them. I'd wanna be a miracle worker if I could be a star. I bet they get big cubicles."

 

"You're weird."

 

"Bite me."

 

“I answered your question," Harry giggled, making Louis' knees weak. "What's your view on people?" 

 

“You’ll have to get in line. I think... well- the night sky is a time machine, right? All the stars we see are a number of light years away. Close stars like Sirius are 8 1/2 light years away, while farther ones like Deneb are 1,600 light years away. It’s fucking insane. We’re not seeing the stars as they are now, but as they were years ago. I think the same thing works with people, you know? Like, think about it; even though you meet someone for the first time, you’re never going to really meet the first them. You’re going to meet them after they’ve been through all the shit life puts them through; after they’ve been broken and bent, hurt and cured. You’re going to meet this after product of someone, and it’s your job to love them and keep them good, so when they meet someone new, they aren’t as shitty as they were when they met you. Does that make any sense?”

 

“Y-yeah,” Harry stuttered, amazed by this person pressed against his arm. Louis was one of those guys you wanted to listen to endlessly. 

 

“So what got you into stars and space?” Harry wondered, widening his eyes and perching up his left brow. 

 

“I think they make my ugly life look a little prettier; give me a bit of hope, per say. Like, no matter how miserable I find myself, I can always wait until dusk and look up at these shining dead sons of bitches and- they just became a reminder that not all things in life are shit, yanno? There can be beautiful, mind-blowing things to see and I am certainly one to let myself see them. Why else would I have followed you here? You’re beautiful Harry, fuck, and I think it’s about time somebody other than your mum told you that. You’re extraordinary.” 

 

Louis' words clung to Harry's skin and started to itch. Everything got blurry and suddenly Harry couldn’t tell the difference between the ringing in his ears and the chirping of the night bugs. It felt as if he had released his grip on the fence and had begun to fall over the edge, hitting each and every bump on the way down. All of a sudden the sky was too bright. He thought he might get sick. 

 

“My mum thinks I like more like a monkey actually,” Harry sputtered out after a few agonizing minutes. Louis let out a slow laugh, resting his forearms atop of the metal so he could really look at Harry. Interesting, charming, flawless Harry. 

 

“I have some bananas in my car if you’d like one. You have to peel it with your hands, though, not your feet-” 

 

“Hey Louis?” Harry interrupted, kindly. Louis’ quirky laughter fell short. 

 

“What?” 

 

“I think I’m a little tired. I’m gonna head home.” 

 

“Oh,” the cheeky boy frowned. “You sure?” 

 

“Yeah. See you soon.” 

 

Harry flashed him a forced grin and awkwardly began waddling towards his car when he heard desperate footsteps rush behind him. Louis’ strong hand was on his shoulder before he could even fully turn around. 

 

“I’m sorry if what I said made everything weird. I just like you, Harry, and it that’s a problem I understand. But _please_ tell me now before I go on making a bloody girl out of myself over it. I want to still be friends at least, and I don’t want you to feel forced into hanging out with me because of my feelings- spare them. Do you really want to see me again?" 

 

Harry shoved his hands in his pockets, but poked one thumb out and began to twiddle them. Louis’ breathing was labored from the running and all the rambling, and _shit_ , did Harry really want to kiss him breathless, but he didn’t. Harry didn’t show feelings like that. The world would still spin and the stars would still shine if Harry didn’t kiss Louis, and he thought nothing more of it. His voice was lower than he intended when he answered. 

 

“I do. I want to see you until neither of us are capable of seeing anything because we're old and blind. Not that all old people go blind, but-” 

 

And that’s when Louis decided against life and went for the big _fuck it_ moment, and stood up on his toes while perfectly connecting his lips against Harry’s slightly chapped ones because _he just couldn't shut up._ The kiss was smooth but forceful, proving all the points both of them needed to realize it was _meant to happen_. Louis pulled away with a ghost of a smile and a really satisfied look on his face, like he had been building up anticipation for that moment for his whole life.

 

“You’re sort of squinting.” Louis pointed out. 

 

And it's true, Harry was squinting. It was bright, but it was real even after he pinched himself, and it flew past his eyes before he could even push out the air trapped in his lungs. 

 

Harry glared at the star then back at Louis and it suddenly all hit him like a punch in the gut. The kiss. Louis. It was all part of the sign he had wished for all those years ago. He needed to run. He needed to think things through. 

 

“Harry wait-” 

 

Louis’ voice was cut off by the sharp slam of Harry’s car door and he was pulled out of his parking spot faster than he could grab the wheel. He felt like a turkey being stuffed full on Thanksgiving, punched and shoved until his insides came out of his ears. All this information was too much; he wanted to unlearn. He felt like exploding, he felt on fire; for the first time ever, Harry felt like a star. He drove and drove until it was impossible for Louis to find him and until the whites of his headlights outshone those stupid fucking stars. 

 

_

 

“Get up you wasted moron, you have a phone call.” The first thing Harry notices is the horrendous thumping in his brain and the room is spinning. He palms his forehead and rubs the sleep from his adjusting eyes before scowling up at Zayn who has a laugh captured between his teeth. 

 

“ ‘Swuts so funny?” Harry mutters, almost incoherently. Zayn giggles for a second until Harry collapses back against the damp pillows and shot him a death glare. 

 

“Did you cry yourself to sleep?” Zayn smirks, Harry throwing his arm over his face and grunting into it. “Oh god Harry, what are you, thirteen? Did you get you get your period last night, or worse; were you not invited to Jessica’s slumber party!?”

 

Zayn cackled, his voice squeaky as Harry dug around in his drawer until he pulled out the bottle of aspirin and chugged three down with the cup of water Zayn also brought him. 

 

“So where’s my phone call?” Harry asks, stretching his legs as he stands and throwing on the first pair of sweats he kicks up from the floor. 

 

“Oh, I took it for you,” answered Zayn. “Louis, I think his name was-”

 

“Shit.” Harry interrupted, running a swift hand through his unmanageable hair. “What did he say? No, what did _you_ say?” 

 

“He said he needed to speak to you,” He continued “And I invited him for dinner tonight.”

 

“You what?” Harry rasped out, the loud sound making his head throb even harder than before. 

 

“I asked him over. He sounds pretty sick, mate, he likes comics and shit too. Is there a problem?”

 

 _Motherfucker_ , Harry says under his breath. He shook his head no and popped his famous dimpley-smile at Zayn as he made his way out of the room, then Harry stumbled into his bathroom. He placed both hands onto the edge of the counter and squeezed until his knuckles blended in with the pearly countertop. He peered his head up just a smidge, and studied himself; bloodshot eyes which were hidden until his droopy, flushed lids. His cheeks were crusted with old tears and his lips were pouting on their own. He looked tired. He was tired. Even after sleeping a solid 13 hours. 

 

After hopping in for a quick shower and trading in his sweats for jeans with just one hole in them, Harry slipped on his Pink Floyd tee and joined Zayn at the sink. They had just started cutting the vegetables into strips for the stir fry when the tune of _Here Comes The Sun_ was being knocked at the door. Harry ignored the coincidence that that was one of his favourite songs ever and tried even harder to ignore Louis’ radiant, well-known perky voice that lit up the room without even trying. Harry moved the wet veggies onto the cutting board and began chopping away as Louis and Zayn chatted about Marvel and he watched them make their way over to where he was cooking. His heart pounded.

 

“Heya Harold,” Louis grinned, not putting as much effort as normal. Harry looked up and pursed his lips together, forming a small ‘hi’ with his mouth but not letting much sound out with it. Zayn ushered Lou into his room to show him all his different collections of weird stuff and Harry scooped the ingredients into the wok, keeping a mindful ear on what he could hear of their conversation. It wasn’t much he cared about, and his name was never mentioned, so after a few minutes he tuned out and focused all of his attention on making the plates for them and bringing them to the table, setting up a whole decor and everything. 

 

“H, this looks amazing!” Zayn boomed, plopping himself into a seat between Harry and Louis and wasted no time digging in. Louis made some sort of eyes at Harry, but he dropped his glance so quickly he couldn’t make out what they implied. Zayn commented how delicious it was between every messy bite and continued talking to Louis about something having to do with a Mystery Machine with a wicked sound system in the back. Harry cracked a joke a few times during the meal, and at some times it felt like nothing had happened the previous night with him and Louis as their laughter molded together in perfect sync. But then it would fade and they would be reminded that the only thing either of them were interested in talking about was the thing they were both trying to avoid and it would get all uncomfortable again. 

 

The meal ended on high spirits thanks to Zayn and he excused himself down to the store for a bit to get a pack of smokes, and Louis took a spot next to Harry at the sink and grabbed the sponge from the faucet. 

 

“I got it, Lou,” Harry argued, reaching for his sponge back but Louis lifted his elbow up, not allowing Harry to grab it. 

 

“Fine, you do it, I don’t care.” 

 

“Yes you do, that’s why you’re sulking.” 

 

“I am not a child Louis; I do not sulk.” 

 

Louis set down the sponge and placed his wrist against his hip, sucking his teeth at Harry until he realized that’s exactly what he was doing. They laughed again, slower this time, and Harry started not to freeze when their hands would brush against each others or when Louis would mindlessly place his fingertips against Harry’s side when he stretched up on his toes to put away a glass. Everything was dried and away when Louis decided he would follow Harry back to his room when he tried to retire into it for the night. 

 

“I might as well be the adult here and address the elephant in the room,” Harry said, tugging his shirt over his head and dunking it next to his hamper. He never made it in. “I’m sorry for running off.” 

 

“Harry, you don’t have to do this. I get it, really, I scared you off a bit. It’s fine.” 

 

“No Lou, it wasn’t the kiss or anything. It’s just- well, I don’t really know. I’ve spent my whole life waiting for that one sign to finally come to me, and then I realize that it’s you; that you’re my comet. And it all just crashed in at once and I needed to process it alone. I don't know what I expected it to be, but certainly not this Peter Pan remake of a person with bright red shoes and an oversized collection of band t-shirts.” 

 

“Fuck off.” Louis said lowly, stepping forward and pressing his lips up against Harry’s, just letting them sculpt against his for a moment before pulling away and doing it all over again. And again. And again. 

 

“I think,” Harry muttered out between the kiss. “I might have a big crush on you.” 

 

“Might? What makes you so unsure?”

 

Harry smiled, peering into Louis’ galaxy filled eyes. That boy was a universe within himself, and that universe just so happened to inhabit Harry; the small boy from Cheshire who’s thoughts were always best leaked through the lens of a telescope. He was always used to learning about the stars and their stories, but now he had his own. Louis grinned, nudging his nose to Harry’s cheek. The two boys stood there, pressed against each other, letting the moonlight twinkle upon their skin and falling in love the way everybody should have a chance to. 

 

“I am so glad you crossed my path, Harry Styles.” 

 

Harry gets a flashback of seeing the comet all those years ago, gliding its way across his eyes; and he lets his lips curl up into Louis’ neck, placing a soft kiss. In that moment, Harry is so high off Louis he swears he can feel them float up into the sky, sitting upon the moon and catching the stars as they fall. And Harry knows Louis deserves them all. 

 

_ 

 

Two months go by and the drive seems shorter than the phone call he receives at half past two in the morning. A full hour after Louis left his flat; smiling and singing and twisting his fingers around in Harry’s curls. Everything was how it was finally supposed to be. 

 

The doors hit Harry with a burst of sudden cold and he shivers, but the goosebumps had been on his arms since he left the house. He runs up to the first desk he sees and stutters out what he had been told on the phone and asks if they have the right person. L.A was probably filled with Harry’s and Styles’s. There’s no way this is for him. Impossible. 

 

“You said Louis Tomlinson, correct sir?” The dark haired nurse asked, perching an eyebrow up at Harry from her computer. She clacked her gum and waited for the computer to load, and when Harry saw the little rainbow wheel stop spinning on her mouse and the page refresh, he watched her face fall. 

 

“What is it? You have the wrong person, right?” Harry stuttered, making fists so his fingers would stop trembling. 

 

“Mr. Styles,” she said, rising from her seat and walking over to meet Harry on the other side of her desk. “We found your number the most recent in his cell phone. Louis Tomlinson has been pronounced unresponsive due to a traumatic car accident as of 12:36 this morning.” 

 

And then nothing felt real. Harry remembers his fists unfolding and then a stark blackness, without one, single star. 

 

_ 

 

It's a four letter word and it haunts him. It's everywhere. Before he leaves the hospital, mulitple women ironed into their clothing make sure to consult him about his options; group therapy sessions, cheap funeral planners, flower arrangers. Every inch of him stills each time they say it.

 

The sun rises, the sun sets; everything else in the process feels pointless now. Zayn brings him food and water and offers to cover rent for the next few months, and Harry wants to decline, but his mouth can't move an inch without bumping into a fresh trail of tears and he's too tired for that right now, so he stays silent, facing the wall, ignoring the sky completely.

 

It's a one syllable word. Every morning he wakes up, and it drags him down, down, down.

 

_

 

“He was my only light, Z.” 

 

Harry swallowed a thick substance that no longer felt anything like saliva. It all hurt. Every cry that came out hurt, and every breath he shook was agonizing. Every once in a while he could feel his heart slow down to the point where it stopped. His heart must have been smart; it knows there’s no reason to beat if Louis’ not around. There’s no reason for why this is happening.

 

“He still is, Harry, but now he's just back up where he belongs. You can still kiss him goodnight and talk to him before you go to bed. He's still with you, babe, just up there. Brighter than ever, thats for damn sure. He hasn’t left you. He just kinda moved.” 

 

Zayn hugs Harry into his shoulder before letting him slip back under the covers, clutching Louis’ shirt against his nose and staring blankly against the wall into the perfect world of yesterday, where Louis was here next to him, kissing him raw and being alive. 

 

Before Harry drifts off, he wishes not to wake up. Zayn pretends not to here him, but clutches his chest in pain all the same. 

 

_ 

 

“But the sky doesn’t look old. It looks new and pretty.” 

 

“She’s had a few face lifts throughout the years, buddy. Keep that between you and me, though.” Harry winked at the small boy before the 6 o’clock planetarium show. As he read off the rules and precautions of the dome, the lights dimmed and costumers filed in. He smiles to himself. 

 

It’s been ta year since Harry took over Louis’ job. He was so happy to do it, and he always remembers to draw a little smiley face next to his name on his tag before a tour.

 

“Alright folks, welcome to the 6 o’clock Griffith Observatory Planetarium Show, I’m going to let the lovely Caroline take it away from here to tell you about the planets, and I’ll be back shortly. Enjoy the first half of the show everyone!”

 

The dome darkened and the show took full effect, captivating Harry every time. The universe was so beautiful, and knowing that Louis was forever up there being apart of it made Harry so much happier about the whole thing. Louis isn’t dead. Louis is reborn somewhere much, much better. 

 

“And now it is my great pleasure to pass the podium over to Harry, who will teach you all about our friends a little closer to home than the planets; the stars!” 

 

“Wow, what an intro.” Harry chuckled, making the crowd laugh. He began by explaining what exactly a star is (a massive, luminous sphere of plasma held together by its own gravity) and what they’re made of (very hot gas). 

 

Then, on cue, he takes out his laser pointer and tells everyone about all the stars and their names, where to find them on certain nights and their origins. As a recent addition, though, Harry points his laser to a very bright star on the middle left, circling it. 

 

“And that’s the brightest star the sky has ever to offer; I call him Louis. Unfortunately, stars are long dead by the time we see them, but they're always up there above us- radiating their light and making our Earth a little less dark, a little less lonely.” 

 

Harry grins to himself, his eyes getting a little watery and the audience awes at the holographic sphere until Harry wraps up the showing and assures them to have a very lovely day. He takes in his generous tips as his shift ends and he makes his way to his car, the sky folding itself in for the day and bidding itself to the night. Harry drives home in a serene state of bliss, knowing Louis should be out soon. He can’t wait to tell him about his day.

 

Zayn had left Harry a note in the kitchen explaining he would be out with somebody named Liam and he wouldn’t be back until later. Harry sniggered, cheekily. He knew exactly what that meant. 

 

The sky was almost fully dark out by the time he was finished eating some dinner, and Harry slid up his window and sat himself on his bed. He smiled up at the lights, and picked Louis out immediately. 

 

“Hey baby,” he chirped. “Today was different. I wish you could’ve been there. The cutest little boy came up to me and he had big blue eyes."

 

An awkward silence filled the room as Harry looked down, furrowing his brow. A slight breeze flowed in, making him lift his head up. That was Louis’ way of telling him to cheer up. 

 

“I really missed you today,” Harry’s voice dropped. “Some days are better than others, you know, but none of them are ever close to being good, no matter how much I smile or how hard I picture you with me. I can hardly do anything without crying. God damn it Louis, why couldn’t you have just fucking stayed the night? Why did I let you go out and drive?” 

 

Harry screamed, slamming his pillow against the wall and curling up into a sobbing ball on his mattress made for two. Another breeze drifted in, and he sniffled himself to a stop. 

 

“Save me a spot up there. I'll see you soon."

 

Harry decided to leave the window open for now, despite the sudden chill in the air. He shuffled himself under the blankets and perched his head so he was looking directly at Louis. He pursed his lips, blowing a faint kiss up to him then whispered. 

 

“I hope you’re close enough to catch that.” 

 

And when he drifted off into a haze where he was almost out of touch with reality, he could feel Louis’ soft lips press to his and he knew deep down, in the part of him where his heart beats, slowly, but still, that Louis always would be.


End file.
